• Lindsay Lohan does her best Madonna impression. [AIW]
• Jeremy Piven was caught eating sushi again, despite his “mercury poisoning” incident. [BB]
• Non-shocker of the day: Paris Hilton with a stripper pole. [CK]
• Reese Witherspoon said her divorce from Ryan Philippe was “humiliating and isolating.” [CB]
• Oh gross: an OctoMom birth tape. [CS]
• Scarlett Johansson isn’t sure if she’s up to playing a “gladiatrix.” [DS]
• Vanilla Ice apologizes for “Ice Ice Baby.” [DL]
• “High School Musical 4″ is in the works. [GB]
• According to tabloid reports, Rihanna secretly married Chris Brown in Miami. [YH]
• Jennifer Aniston pays up to $50,000 to get her hair did. [INMF]
• Check out the first photos of Angelina Jolie in her upcoming film “Salt.” [POTP]
• Heidi Klum takes the bra-mobile for a spin. [PB]
• Lindsay Lohan’s NYC home is up for sale. [TB]
• Mariska Hargitay was hospitalized again. [GH]
• Megan Fox is set to star in two comic book-inspired movies. [HMG]
• Barron Trump is getting so big! [CVL]
• James Franco scored a book deal. [JS]
• Random Kristen Stewart appearance. [IDWYL]
• The Gauntly Twins. [AY]
• Season 12 of “America’s Next Top Model” starts tonight! [SOW]
• Mischa Barton keeps it classy. [BST]
• More from Britney Spears’ “Circus” debut performance. [WIMB]
• Malin Akerman debuts her vag. [CNW]
• Police found Rihanna’s blood in Chris Brown’s rented car. [AG]

Salmon’s biggest enemy reportedly threw a temper tantrum during a photo shoot for Page Six Magazine. Jeremy Piven arrived on set last September to shoot a few photos to promote his stint in the Broadway play “Speed the Plow,” and eventually flipped his shit over being involved in the “mediocre” shoot.

“This isn’t my first time on the merry-go-round,” he said when asked to pose for a traditional head-shot. “You want mediocre? I can give you mediocre.” His pose? A DMV-worthy grin.

But Piven didn’t want to give mediocre a little later. He popped his collar, and “letting out a guttural moan,” ripped the sleeves off a $350 Giorgio Armani shirt, the mag reports.

Next season on Entourage: Ari Gold, sans shirt sleeves.

• Ooh, girl… no. [TB]
• Lindsay Lohan’s Myspace friends are kind of creepy. [IBBB]
• Dexter married his sister. [WIMB]
• Kim Kardashian tells us sweet lies. [AG]
• Kanye West wants less fans. My suggestion: give more interviews. [CNW]
• Jeremy Piven claimed to be embarrassed by his mercury illness. [GH]
• Whitney Port “working.” [BST]
• Ryan Seacrest just wants to be loved by Brangelina. [CK]
• So he was trying to fake his own death? Idk. [BB]
• Sadly, I will be Tivo’ing “Pete Doherty In 24 Hours.” [RR]
• Sacha Baron Cohen’s jokes were not appreciated by the Golden Globes crowd. [SOW]
• More arrivals from the Golden Globes. [INMF]
• Prince Harry is kind of an asshole. [GB]
• Cameron Diaz needs to check her roots. [DH]
• Heather Mills got a scary-mommy haircut. [AIW]
• Nicole Richie looked lovely at the Art of Elysium Gala. [CS]
• Kelly Brook plus lingerie. [YH]
• Deconstructing Rocco DiSpirto’s penis. [DL]
• I STILL don’t understand Lady Gaga. [PB]

• Nice shoes, hookers. [BS]
• Princess Eugenie looks like a hooker too. [CFW]
• MTV keeps mum on the VMAs and Britney Spears. [CS]
• Natalie Portman does Venice. [DS]
• Someone allegedly stole Prince William’s softcore photo collection. [DH]
• Kevin Spacey plays grab-ass in Croatia. [DR]
• Breaking news: Jeremy Piven is difficult. [FH]
• An anti-Scientology group wants to save Katie Holmes. [GB]
• Voice-master king Don LaFontaine died on Monday. [HMG]
• Joan Rivers is assy. [PB]
• NKOTB do the View. [SOW]
• Hayden Panettiere would prefer if you didn’t peep her vag. [BST]
• Josh Hartnett homemade sex tape? No thanks. I don’t dig on the uni-brow. [TB]
• Metallica is still making music videos. [RR]
• Madonna is reportedly cheap when it comes to her crew members. [WIMB]
• Britney Spears plus bikini. [CNW]
• Tiger Woods knocked up his wife again. [BB]
• Pam Anderson is dating Michael Jackson? [AIW]

Jeremy Piven was very pleased to make Megan Fox’s acquaintance at Spike TV’s Guy’s Choice Awards. He approached her in the greenroom, but she wasn’t feeling his lines.

“I don’t know you, but I should,” said Piven, staring at her like she was a lamb chop. He went on: “I know you’re getting an award.” Said an unimpressed Fox: “Do you even know which one?” The “Entourage” star was ready to answer, but she’d already walked away.

Homegirl is engaged to Brian Austin Green, so you would think she would be more comfortable around totally cheesy dudes. Besides, I think I would take the Piv over David Silver any day.

Source

• Britney Spears’ cousin Alli Sims chilled with Paris Hilton over the weekend. [WLC]
• Kanye West is a fair-weather homophobe. [ASL]
• Gwen Stefani kept covered up for her Malaysian tour date. [Celebitchy]
• Nick Lachey is reportedly shopping for engagement rings. [CS]
• Check out the trailer for the new Bob Dylan biopic “I’m Not There.” [SOW]
• Former publicist Jonathan Jaxson is hell-bent on outing everyone in Hollywood. [CS]
• Hayden Panettiere is psyched for cigarettes and porn. [GB]
• Sienna Miller got topless in Ibiza. [Blemish]
• Kelly Clarkson enjoys the occasional marijuana cookie. [DS]
• Seriously, Jeremy Piven is kind of a douchebag. [WW]
• Geri Halliwell hooked up with a Russian billionaire. [Gabsmash]
• Katherine McPhee does InStyle. [GTS]
• David Beckham believes Americans actually like soccer. [RR]

• Prince Harry reportedly got pissy drunk and tried to attack an SUV. [MollyGood]
• According to sources, Jeremy Piven was banned from Nobu after acting like a total ass to the management and waitstaff. [SOW]
• Pax Thien was apparently a hot commodity around the Ho Chi Minh City orphanage where he used to reside. [Celebitchy]
• Drunky McCrackWhore is actually looking pretty hot since giving up the Miss America crown. [DH]
• Chelsea Clinton has huge fucking teeth, yo. [Rumorficial]
• Scarlett Johansson already has old age on her mind; the actress said she will “definitely” have plastic surgery when she gets older. [HB]
• Boring Jennifer Garner glammed it up for the April issue of Allure magazine. [CGJ]
• Is Lohan banging James Blunt? Gross. [CDL]
• Jordan and hubby Peter Andre are coming to American television; E! reportedly scooped up rights to the couple’s reality show. [Dlisted]
• Yoko Ono makes me sweat. [ASL]