While Lindsay Lohan was (allegedly) stealing self-tanning recipes, hit movie roles were passing her by. The starlet, who clearly knows a good role when she smells one (”I Know Who Killed Me,” that pregnancy movie, etc…) reportedly passed on an opportunity to star in “The Hangover.”

Why? Idk, stop questioning Lindsay’s decision-making skillz.

Lohan, 23, declined the role of stripper Jade in The Hangover after declaring the screenplay “had no potential.”

A source tells Us that director Todd Phillips approached Lohan to star in the hit flick after their mutual agent campaigned on the actress’ behalf.

“The agent tried hard to get Phillips to consider her,” says the source, “and when he finally agreed, Lindsay said she didn’t like the script!”

Meanwhile, “The Hangover” went on to score $208 million and counting at the box office with Heather Graham in the role Lindsay turned down.

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Justin Timberlake reportedly got his drink on in NYC last week, and ended up dancing with a broad who wasn’t his girlfriend, Jessica Biel. Thankfully, JT avoided dancing with Lindsay Lohan, who, according to Page Six, got so pissed over the diss, took to Twitter to call JT a “cheater.”

“Usually Justin is pretty in control, but he was acting pretty crazy,” our spy tells Page Six. “He was drinking tequila all night. At one point, he cleared out a little space and started break dancing. He was bumping into people and spilling drinks. It was hilarious.”

Our source also says that at one point, Lindsay Lohan, currently off with on-again, off-again girlfriend Samantha Ronson, tried to dance with Timberlake, but “he shooed her away.”

But that didn’t stop Timberlake from later cozying up to an unidentified brunette partygoer. “It definitely wasn’t Jessica,” laughs our source. “He was pretty drunk.”

Later that night, Lohan ended up posting a thinly veiled message on her Twitter account, “where’s jb cheater,” seemingly referring to Timberlake’s girlfriend, Biel. The next day, she added, “Why do people cheat?”

When pressed on the issue, Lindsay claimed she didn’t post the “cheater” Tweet, and instead insisted a mysterious hacker broke into her Twitter account.

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Dr. Drew Pinksy has some words of advice for Lindsay Lohan: clean up your act, or someone will totally chop off your leg! Or arm. Or something, idk.

“I’m convinced that she’ll get sober one day. But I’m afraid that between now and then, she may get a nearly mortal wound of some type. I’m really convinced that something horrible is going to have to happen to her before she really gets over it and embraces sobriety. She needs to give it up. And it’s going to be a while before she does. I have this image that she’s going to lose a limb or something before she does. And it scares me.”

Shortly after Dr. Drew’s assessment of Lindsay hit the internet, Lindsay, the one-legged starlet, replied to Dr. Drew via her Twitter account:

“I thought REAL doctors talk to patients in offices behind closed doors. Am I wrong? Hmmmmm. I think NOT! Yay!”

So no one have a publicist anymore? Everyone has to comment through Twitter?

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Lindsay Lohan is bad news. Now that her acting career has completely stalled, Lindsay headed to Paris to negotiate a deal with Emanuel Ungaro to be a “creative consultant” for the successful fashion line. Unfortch, Esteban Cortazar, the label’s head designer, threatened to bounce if Lindsay was hired.

“Esteban is threatening to leave the company if they bring Lindsay on as a consultant,” said a fashion insider. “It has been a revolving door of designers there and if he leaves, his team will go with him.”

According to our source, “Ungaro thinks Lindsay is going to bring the company new energy and new buzz, but she is going to be the nail in the coffin. Nobody will take them seriously ever again.”

There is some good news for Lindsay, though: according to Page Six, Lindsay and ex-girlfriend Samantha Ronson “are sort of back together.”

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• Lindsay Lohan’s walk of shame isn’t pretty. [TB]
• More from the “Inglourious Basterds” premiere in Cannes. [INMF]
• A crazed fan attacked Terri Seymour after last night’s “American Idol” finale. [GB]
• Chris Pine is dating Audrina Partridge. [WIMB]
• Breaking news: Emma Watson has boobs. [CNW]
• Michael Vick was released from prison. [CVL]
• Gwyneth Paltrow hates on Scarlett Johansson. [JS]
• This looks uncomfortable. [AY]
• Kourtney Kardashian speaks out on graffiti. [POTP]
• Ashlee Simpson in the first stills from CW’s “Melrose Place.” [SOW]
• Spencer Pratt appeared in a random rap video. [AIW]
• Get ready for Big Brother 11. [CS]
• More from Jessica Biel’s Allure interview. [DS]
• Ryan Phillippe rides dirty. [HMG]
• Patrick Swayze’s rep denied the actor died. [AG]
• Get a room. [BST]
• Michael Jackson’s face maintains it’s scary. [PB]
• Rihanna has a new dude. [BB]
• Olivia Wilde does GQ. [YH]
• Natalie Cole received a kidney transplant. [AS]

Lindsay Lohan will have to put her challenging career as a leggings designer behind her for an upcoming project. According to Variety, the beleaguered starlet actually managed to land a role in an indie film called “The Other Side.”

In case you’re keeping score, Lindsay hasn’t acted in a movie since 2007’s shittastic “I Know Who Killed Me.”

Lohan will topline indie fantasy comedy “The Other Side” alongside Woody Harrelson, Giovanni Ribisi, Dave Matthews and Alanis Morissette.

Story centers on a grad student who must spend the summer working at a scientific institute on a remote island. She discovers an eccentric community of characters who are hiding a secret about a tragedy that took place many years before.

Shooting is set for October at an island off the coast of Massachusetts.

Feature role is Lohan’s first since “I Know Who Killed Me” in 2007, when her career stalled over assertions of unprofessional behavior.

“Lindsay’s very aware of people’s perceptions of her,” director David Michaels told Daily Variety. “She’s really committed to doing what she has to in order to change that.”

Wait, hold up… Dave Matthews? What?

Anyhoo, if there’s a God in heaven, please let that “island off the coast of Massachusetts” be somewhere on the south shore of Boston so I can stalk Lindsay via public transportation.

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According to TMZ, a couple dudes broke into Lindsay Lohan’s home yesterday afternoon, but didn’t steal anything, and couldn’t even trash the place because it was already trashed by the starlet.

Lindsay was not home at the time of the break in–she’s currently in Paris for no apparent reason.

Law enforcement sources tell us at around 3 PM PT today, the alarm company that services the house notified cops that the alarm had been tripped. When police arrived, there was evidence of a break-in. There were pry marks on the back door and tampering with the back window. It appears nothing was taken but the house was ransacked, at least that’s what responding officers thought.

One law enforcement source tells us it doesn’t look like the house was ransacked after all, “it was just messy.”

So how messy was Lindsay’s pad? Los Angeles Police Officer Karen Rayner asked, “Is it normally like this, or did the intruders do it?” Ew.

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