Fergie made a fug appearance in Warsaw, Poland this week to promote her disc. Homegirl was rocking some frightening pink-fleshy-cheap-ass-looking lipstick and a pair of mom jeans that were so high-waisted they almost touched her tits. Poor Poland, they must be hiding in fear for their lives.

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Photographers caught up with Kate Moss and Pete Doherty as they rushed to the airport to catch a plane to the Maldives. Kate had a couple of small suitcases, but Pete only had one bag, which carried his most important vacay item: a can of beer.

While a beer-filled bag is always a recipe for fun, I’m less concerned about this dude’s drinking problems, and more concerned with the herpes on his upper lip. Gross.

Naomi Campbell arrived for her first day of mopping floors at the New York Sanitation Department. The community service gig was a part of her sentence for hitting her maid with a flying Blackberry after bitch dared misplace Naomi’s favorite jeans.

Naomi turned up on time for her 8am appointment at the city building on the Lower East Side. Although she was sporting some hot Christian Louboutin stilleto hills, she carried a pair of frumpy work boots slung over her shoulder. I’m sure they’ll look cute with the orange vest and work gloves she will be issued.

MP3: The Clash - “I Fought the Law”

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Lily Allen recently said she’s so homesick, she has considered canceling her American tour because she wants to go home and sit on her boyfriend Seb Chew’s sofa. Is a dude named Seb Chew really worth canceling a tour?

She says, “I’m on a US tour till May. Or I could go home to my fella, then write a new album.”

In case you were wondering, Seb is the fella on the left in the above photo. Homeboy kinda looks like Brian Posehn.

Rose McGown has looked like an elderly woman the past few months. Homegirl’s right eye had some serious droop-age, making many wonder if the ‘Grindhouse’ star had some botched cosmetic surgery. According to Rose, that is not the case; she claimed her eye was injured in a recent car accident. 

McGowan was a passenger in a car that collided with another, and the accident pushed her eyeglasses into her face. “I didn’t realize I was hurt until I put my hand to my face and felt the flap of skin. My glasses had sliced me under my eye,” the gorgeous actress tells us. She was terrified of scarring, but found an excellent plastic surgeon.

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Jenna Jameson is looking so rough lately. I mean, I understand there is a certain roughness that comes with being a porn star, but homegirl has just lost a shit-ton of weight in the past few months. Her skinny little legs look like they could crack at any second. Poor girl.

On the plus side, her hair looks really cute.

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Uma Thurman and her hotelier boyfriend Andre Balazas have called it quits again. The two had an on/off relationship for the past three years.

The breakup of Thurman, 36, and Balazs, 50 – who had begun dating in late 2003 – takes place amid rumors that the couple were planning to wed in the Caribbean this summer.

Thurman’s publicist, Robert Garlock, did not wish to comment on Sunday.

It’s too bad they couldn’t make it work; they made for an absolutely gorgeous couple.

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