• Prince Harry reportedly got pissy drunk and tried to attack an SUV. [MollyGood]
• According to sources, Jeremy Piven was banned from Nobu after acting like a total ass to the management and waitstaff. [SOW]
• Pax Thien was apparently a hot commodity around the Ho Chi Minh City orphanage where he used to reside. [Celebitchy]
• Drunky McCrackWhore is actually looking pretty hot since giving up the Miss America crown. [DH]
• Chelsea Clinton has huge fucking teeth, yo. [Rumorficial]
• Scarlett Johansson already has old age on her mind; the actress said she will “definitely” have plastic surgery when she gets older. [HB]
• Boring Jennifer Garner glammed it up for the April issue of Allure magazine. [CGJ]
• Is Lohan banging James Blunt? Gross. [CDL]
• Jordan and hubby Peter Andre are coming to American television; E! reportedly scooped up rights to the couple’s reality show. [Dlisted]
• Yoko Ono makes me sweat. [ASL]

Donatella Versace took a tumble at Elton John’s 60th birthday bash in NYC. It’s ok, though–she didn’t break her hip or anything.

I blame those awful, grandma disco shoes for the incident. I mean, although Donatella looks just like Janice from the Muppet Band, she does usually put herself together alright, so I’m kind of shocked by the space shoes.

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Paris Hilton spent the weekend in Las Vegas with new boyfriend Josh Henderson. If you watched the early episodes of Ashlee Simpson’s unfortunate reality show on MTV a few years ago, you might remember Josh as Ashlee’s first Hollywood boyfriend, who later dumped her and talked some trash on her ass. They broke up in 2004 after dating for a couple of years. Although I’m not exactly a fan of Ashlee, this Josh kid came off looking like a vapid, loser after broke up with her. I guess that makes him an ideal Paris boyfriend.

Anyhoo, the new couple had dinner at 9 Steakhouse, and later hit up Hugh Hefner’s 81st birthday celebration at the Palms.  

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According to the New York Daily News, Bruce Willis had a major make out session with Courtney Love last week at the Amy Winehouse concert. Don’t expect a relationship to spring from this hook up; homeboy ditched her towards the end of the evening.

The unlikely couple were spotted in flagrante canoodle March 19 at the Roxy nightclub on Sunset Blvd. “They were full-on making out,” laughs a witness.

The venue was packed for a 9 p.m. performance by boozy Brit rocker Amy Winehouse.

But it doesn’t look like Rumer, Scout and Tallulah are getting a new stepmom just yet. Another source says Willis carried on the rest of the evening without Love by his side.

The actor’s rep declined to comment, while Love’s spokesman described the interaction as “a quick hi, and then they went their separate ways.”

Just a quick ‘hi,’ and some exchanging of mouth VD.

MP3: Hole - “Malibu”

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Police arrested Anthony Lovato, former frontman of Chicago punk band Mest, this weekend for reportedly stabbing a man to death in front of an apartment complex in Los Angeles. Lovato allegedly confessed to police, saying the man was his ex-girlfriend’s new boyfriend.

Tony Lovato, 26, was held on $1 million bail after telling police that he was assaulted earlier in the day by Wayne Hughes, 25, in the underground parking lot of an apartment building in the suburb of Studio City.

“At some point, Mr. Lovato produced a knife and the victim was stabbed,” said Lt. Andrew Neiman of the Los Angeles Police Dept. “He has been booked for criminal homicide.”

Neiman said police had been called to the apartment the night before following a report of an altercation between the two, but no arrests were made.

Mest broke up in early 2006. They were one of those Goldfinger-esque bands that nobody would ever remember unless a band member stabbed a dude in a parking lot.

MP3: Mest - “This Time”

Britney Spears was missing from Kevin Federline’s birthday festivities last weekend, but his other baby-momma, Shar Jackson, turned up in Las Vegas for his 29th birthday party.

After Kevin checked into Caesar’s Palace on Friday, along with sons Sean Preston and Jayden James, he kicked it in a VIP area called Caesar’s Venus Pool Club, a private, topless pool area. Thankfully, he didn’t bring the kiddos along.

The birthday festivities kicked off Saturday night, with Federline (who turned 29 on March 21) starting his evening at Social House, dining on Asian fare with 14 of his closest friends and family by his side, a source tells People.

“He was talking on the phone and texting the whole time,” said the source.

Later, Federline made his way to Caesars’ Pure Nightclub, where his ex Shar Jackson was already present.

“As soon as his parents got to the club they immediately went to Shar’s table on the other side of the club and hung out there for a while,” a source says. “They were taking photos with her and catching up. It’s pretty easy to see that they still care about her.”

Meanwhile, a well-dressed Federline “was clearly having a good time, hanging with his group and singing along to most of the music,” says an onlooker.

Drinking Jack Daniels, Federline hung out in his VIP area most the night, waving to the crowd as they yelled for him.

At 2:30 a.m., Jackson again returned to Federline’s table to dance with his parents. Federline then grabbed the mic, says a source, and said to the crowd: “‘My entire family came out for my birthday. My brothers are here, my mother, my father, my sister and even my ex Shar Jackson came out for this.’”

Just before 4 a.m., Federline retreated to his room at Caesars, the 4,000-sq.-ft “Rainman Suite” – where, yes, the movie of the same name was filmed.

Wow, how totally appropriate.

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Jennifer Lopez and Skeletor, aka hubby Marc Anthony, hit up the Echo Music Awards in Berlin this weekend. Jennifer was honored for international music sales, while Marc was honored on the red carpet for most disgusting sweat stains on a very expensive suit. Jesus, dude, do something with yourself.

MP3: Basement Jaxx - “Make Me Sweat”

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