• Commercial whaling makes Hayden Panettiere sad and stuff. [DS]
• According to Heidi Montag’s douchebag fiancee, Spencer Pratt, Playboy offered Heidi $1 million to pose nude in the magazine. Umkay. [JIYH]
• Demi Moore is trying to get knocked up. [INO]
• The British government is allegedly trying to block David Beckham from being knighted. [Celebitchy]
• $100 million for a diamond-encrusted skull? Put me on the waiting list. [Towleroad]
• Drunk driving is not a laughing matter, Lohan! [WW]
• According to Victoria Beckham, I am a “sad person” that sits behind a computer. Well, I guess you’re right. P.S. Nice bolt-ons, bitch. [CS]
• I can’t wait to get my paws of Jordan’s children’s books. [SOW]
• Duh: Nicole Richie claims she is scared of jail. [DH]
• Paulina Rubio shakes that thang. [Glunp]
• Director Sofia Coppola took a stroll with daughter Romy in NYC this week. [JJ]
• Larry Birkhead announced plans to sue his sleazy attorney, Depra Opri. [Dlisted]
• Alex Rodriguez’s wife hasn’t left his cheating ass yet. [WLC]
• Check out Kanye West’s new video for “Can’t Tell Me Nothing.” [POTP]
• Rehab is so boring. [EB]
• If she’s not on the red carpet, Sienna Miller doesn’t want you take her photo, k? [RR]
• Paris Hilton’s book of the day: “Spiritual Warrior.” [CP]

As if Amy Winehouse didn’t have enough poorly planned tattoos: the soul-singer reportedly intends to get a tattoo of her husband’s name in a “intimate place.”

The ‘Rehab’ singer, who already has spouse Blake Fielder-Civil’s name etched on her left breast, allegedly wants to have his and hers initials inked near her private parts as a tribute to their love.

Amy has already contacted a tattoo parlour in North London to discuss the intimate body art.

A source said: “She has made enquiries. She wanted to know how long it would take to get them done and also discussed designs.”

The appropriate design for one’s vajajay is something to be thoroughly thought out, so props to Amy for checking around and asking questions.

RS scan via WLC.

I only found out that Calum Best was a “celebrity” a few months ago, but ever since, he’s filled my life with purpose and gossip: homeboy is a fucking trainwreck. Not only is he a prostitute-chasing, coke-snorting sex addict, he’s also a daddy! Or so says some broad who claimed Calum knocked her up last year.

Lorna Hogan said Calum fathered her five month old daughter Amelia after a quick hook up, despite his denials that he’s the father.

Yesterday Calum said: “I’m in contact with the mother and we’ll do a paternity test as soon as possible. I guess if I am a dad then I need to take responsibility.”

Lorna says she fell pregnant in a romp with Calum the night BEFORE his dad’s memorial service in Manchester last year.

She learned she was expecting two weeks later, but claims that Calum turned nasty when she delivered the news.

Lorna said: “It was never planned, but that’s no excuse for him to abandon the baby.”

She said Calum had sent her a text message demanding a DNA test.

But Lorna said: “I’ll give him all the proof he needs.

“There’s no doubt Calum’s her father. Amelia even has the same shaped face, chin and ears.”

This is a case for Maury Povich.

TMZ pointed out today that it’s strange Nicole Richie still has her drivers license, despite the fact that she has a current DUI charge, and a history as a repeat offender.

After asking a few California officials, no one had an answer as to why homegirl is still allowed on the streets as a driver.

Paris [Hilton] was busted September 7, 2006 — and around 5 months later, she had already lost her driving privileges and was later arrested for violating her probation for driving on the suspended license. Richie was busted for DUI on December 11, 2006 — and almost 6 months later, she is not only still driving … but the California DMV hasn’t even begun to take action against her.

TMZ spoke with Deputy District Attorney Ed Greene, a prosecutor assigned to Nicole’s DUI case, who admitted, “I am a little surprised too.” However, Greene pointed out that until Richie is actually convicted of DUI, the decision to revoke or suspend her license is up to the folks at the California DMV. Greene added, “They generally do it quicker than this.”

We contacted the California DMV to try and get some answers, and the rep said: “I have no idea why Nicole still has her license.”

Nicole’s boyfriend, Joel Madden, probably wishes they would have already taken away Nicole’s driving privileges; yesterday, Nicole parked Joel’s BMW in a loading zone, resulting in a ticket. Hours later, she allowed the car to overheat and stall.

Source 

After Lindsay Lohan suddenly pulled out of filming “The Edge of Love” because producers wanted her to complete a drug test, hope seemed to be lost for the Dylan Thomas biopic. Luckily for everyone involved, Sienna Miller stepped in to take the role opposite Keira Knightley.

The two women play lovers of Dylan Thomas, and according to on-set sources, have a steamy threesome scene in the movie. This on-set closeness helped Keira and Sienna form a close bond; the two broads are planning to get matching vacation homes so they can maintain their friendship after filming wraps.

The girls hit the town last night with Keira’s fella Rupert Friend and their other co-star Matthew Rhys in tow.

Sienna’s boyfriend Jamie Burke was suspiciously absent, despite the fact he is in London at the moment, but it clearly wasn’t stopping Sienna from having a good time.

The gang went for dinner in Archipelago before having a very schoolkid moment of linking arms while running down the street.

We’re told Sienna and 22- year-old Keira have become inseparable on the set in New Quay, Wales, so much so they are currently househunting for neighbouring cottages overlooking the sea there.

“Sienna and Keira feel it would be great to have homes there and go on joint holidays once filming stops, so they can keep up their friendship.
The source added: “They’re actively hunting for the perfect cottages in the area.”

Well, thank God for Lindsay Lohan and her drug problem.

When Naomi Campbell sashayed into her community service gig earlier this year wearing couture and looking drop-dead gorgeous, Paris Hilton was apparently paying close attention.

According to a source close to Paris, she has already hired hair and makeup artists to arrive at her Hollywood Hills at 9 am Monday morning to help get her gorgeous for her perp walk into jail. Paris reportedly wants the media to see her looking her best when she turns herself over to the county corrections office.

“The timing is to make sure she makes all the celebrity weeklies,” an insider says.

“Paris is a genius at marketing herself. She managed to turn having a sex tape to her benefit, and she’s going to do the same out of going to prison.”

But the pal observes: “It’s not just about marketing, it’s about making money. If she can set up her entry into jail in a very grand way, the payoff will be greater.”

“Paris doesn’t do contrite very well,” says the source. “She will be glam, and Paris is the queen of the prop. Expect her hair pulled back in a ponytail, big sunglasses and maybe a Holy Bible under one arm. And she just got a new kitten, so maybe she’ll hand that to her sister [Nicky] as she gets out of the car.”

Adds the insider: “There might even be tears.”

Paris plans to keep busy while in the slammer; she has allegedly decided to write a prison diary during her 23 day sentence, to be published upon her release. A source said it could make Paris even more famous.

“If she can make it believable, and not exaggerate too much, she might expect to make a million dollars out of it.”

Source

Photographers snapped Ashlee Simpson in a seriously sad outfit this week. She was just leaving her doctor’s office, but still… babydoll needs to lose the socks.