Britney Spears’ former husband, Kevin Federline, filed for primary custody of their two children today in a Los Angeles court. Although he now has split custody of Sean Preston and Jayden James, Kfed filed an order requesting physical custody.

Spears and Federline’s divorce was finalized less than two weeks ago. At the time, the couple agreed to split custody 50-50 of Sean Preston, 22 months, and Jayden James, 10 months.

But a source close to Federline told People that the would-be-rapper was worried Spears was exposing the boys to “unnecessary risk” and that his lawyer, Mark Vincent Kaplan, “hopes to get Kevin primary custody.”

In June, when the couple were wrangling over their divorce settlement, Federline was still resisting signing the papers over growing concerns about Spears’ erratic behavior.

Sadly, I’m actually rooting for Kfed on this one. Who’s side are you taking?

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• Katherine McPhee had a slight wardrobe malfunction on the set of her new movie. [CS]
• Colin Farrell chilled with his new girlfriend in NYC this week. [DS]
• Zac Efron does the cover of Rolling Stone. [JCC]
• Jennifer Lopez was awarded a $545,000 judgment against ex-husband Ojani Noa. [Celebitchy]
• Matt Damon believes his wife deserves some props. [AIW]
• Kat Von D has a lot of random-ass tattoos. [CS]
• Bruce Willis has a new, very young girlfriend. [GH]
• Zac Efron got shirtless for the cover of Rolling Stone. [JCC]
• Kate Hudson hooked up with new boyfriend Dax Shepard at the beach this week. [GB]
• Lindsay Lohan reportedly has an entire posse trying to keep her sober. [WW]
• Kristen Bell might be headed for “Lost.” [WLC]
• Oh hey, Scarlett Johansson and panties. [JIYH]
• Cate Blanchett is really into conserving water. [SOW]
• Ugh, Samantha Ronson. [EB]
• Check out ABC’s new Bachelor. [Gabsmash]

Photographers snapped Katie Price (aka Jordan) out getting her drink on again this week. Much like last time, homegirl got tipsy outside da club, and appeared to be on the verge of teetering over any second. Luckily, she had a few homegirls with her this time to keep her on her feet.

Katie left the London club scene while pregnant with her now six week old daughter, Princess Tiaami, and now wants to make up for lost time; she hit up a number of London hot spots before heading home at 4:30am.

She was accompanied by British models Danielle Lloyd and Michelle Heaton–husband Peter Andre is reportedly in Cyprus renovating their summer villa.

According to an upcoming issue of Star Magazine, Britney Spears accused her mother Lynne of boinking her ex-husband, Kevin Federline. Grooooss.

“In a fit of rage, Britney accused her mom of sleeping with Kevin!” a friend tells Star. “Britney doesn’t know up from down right now. She’s so confused and angry, she told Lynne that she was so backstabbing, that she was probably sleeping with Kevin just to hurt her feelings. Lynne, on the other hand, is deeply hurt that her own daughter would so viciously accuse her of doing something so terrible.”

Because of this alleged betrayal (and perhaps a love of crack cocaine and Red Bull shooters), Britney totes lost her effing mind.

“She can’t seem to cope with anything,” the insider reveals. “She cries and says she feels like everyone is against her. I think she’s extremely paranoid. She buys puppies, because they fulfill some desperate need insider her, but the thrill is short-lived, so she goes back and gets another one. She goes out drinking and clubbing because it anesthetizes her and dulls the pain of fighting with her mom and divorcing Kevin. She can’t see it, but the partying is making it worse. Even though Britney’s friends and family aren’t getting along with her right now, they’re really concerned. One day she’s laughing and bouncing with energy and the next day she’s in despair and in tears.”

I realize the chances of this story being true are very slim, but I’m still daydreaming of a post-menopausal baby for Kevin and Lynne, which they will raise in a trailer by the Mississippi River. Cue the banjos!

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Courtney Love claimed she added 10 pounds to her recently frail-looking body by scarfing down cupcakes. In another nonsensical Myspace rant, Courtney said she thought the attention to her weight was unfair because… well, actually, I couldn’t really understand her reasoning, so you’ll have to read it for yourself.

In her usual stream-of-consciousness style, which includes relaxed rules for grammar and spelling, the 43-year-old rocker writes this week on her MySpace page (accessible only to her MySpace friends): “ive put on 10 pounds (thank you Sprinkles cupcakes wic h i must admit are overrated).”

Love’s blog also conveys her message that she thinks it’s unfair to single her out for criticism about her weight, USA Today reports.

“I must point out the hypocrisy of this crazy hysteria about my weight…Noones going to mistake me for Eva Longoria, andmy god I am truly hAppy to be who an what i am with my life an dmy expirience i can do so many things help so many people and make such a beautiful clothing line too! and maybe finish this dammed sript one day,” writes Love, who in April claimed to have shed 52 lbs. thanks to a diet of Isopure shakes, fish and vegetables.

I find it odd that an extra 10 pounds resulted in Courtney look exactly like Carol Channing.

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White Stripes frontman Jack White became a father for the second time after wife Karen Elson gave birth to a baby boy. Henry Lee White was born on Tuesday.

This is the second child for the couple; daughter Scarlett Teresa is 15 months old.

Photographers snapped Angelina Jolie at work on the Chicago set of her upcoming film “Wanted,” co-starring Morgan Freeman. Angelina kept a low profile on set, reportedly eating her meals alone in her trailer, only sneaking out once (with five bodyguards in tow) to make her way up the John Hancock Center, to dine at the Signature Room.

This is the final leg of shooting on the film, and is expected to wrap in three weeks.

This is totally off-topic, but I love her hair pulled back like that.

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