Homegirl really knows how to take a mug shot, no? Anyhoo, the Los Angeles Sheriff’s Department released a statement regarding Nicole’s stunning 82 minute incarceration.

On August 23 2007, at 3:15 PM Miss Nicole Camille Richie reported to CRDF and surrendered herself following a July 27 arrest, she was sentenced to serve 96 hours in County Jail. Miss Richie was accompanied by her attorney, Shawn Chapman Holley and her boyfriend Joel Madden. Miss Richie was booked and processed into the jail system. Miss Richie was cooperative during the process. Based on her sentence and federal court guidelines, Miss Richie was released at 4:37 PM today.

Well, it’s not exactly difficult to remain cooperative for 82 minutes, is it?

• Oh hey, it’s Kim Kardashian and her ass… again. [GB]
• Nicole Richie reportedly would like to have a natural birth. Good luck with that. [CC]
• Ugh, I can’t stand Jessica Simpson’s dog. [DS]
• Check out Britney Spears’ new shit-tastic song. [WLC]
• It appears Jessica Alba and Cash Warren are back on. [Gabsmash]
• Kelis and Nas do Fashion Rocks magazine. [CL]
• Mel B denies her new husband is a crazy wife-beater. [Celebitchy]
• Paris Hilton bought a new house. [CS]
• NBC is bringing back “American Gladiators.” [SOW]
• Go tell Wendy Wayrad how cute she was when she was a little girl (even though she was allegedly high on crack.) [WW]
• Masi Oka and Hayden Panettiere are adorable together. [Blemish]
• Rebecca Romijn keeps it classy. [Grumpiest]
• We now know how Heidi Montag paid for her new boobs. [RR]
• This week’s gossip rag covers. [CS]

Nicole Richie checked herself into the Lynwood Correctional Facility today to begin serving her four day jail sentence. The pregnant starlet arrived at 3:15 this afternoon to be processed. 82 minutes later, authorities released Nicole for time served.

Her DUI jail sentence is now dunzo.  Shocking, no?

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As expected, Lindsay Lohan’s attorney struck a bargain with the Los Angeles DA in connection with Lindsay’s two DUI incidents. As part of the deal, Lindsay will not be forced to stand trail, but she will be expected to serve time in county jail.

She just struck a deal by pleading no contest to two counts of DUI (driving with a .08 blood alcohol level or higher). By law, Lohan becomes a second offender (with two DUIs) and must serve a minimum of four days in jail. But the judge cut that in half by ordering her to perform 10 days of community service in lieu of two of the days. He also gave Lindsay one day credit for time served when she was busted. That means she gets a grand total of one day in jail.

Lohan also pleaded guilty to two counts of being under the influence of a controlled substance (two separate incidents) — both misdemeanors. She also pleaded no contest to reckless driving.

The judge said Lohan will serve 36 months probation and attend an alcohol education program for 18 months.

As to the controlled substance plea, Lohan was ordered not to use controlled substances. She’s also required to enroll in a drug program. She’s also required to stay for an unspecified amount of time at the Utah facility where she’s currently in rehab.

Lohan was also ordered “not to associate with people with controlled substances.”

On January 18, Lohan must show she’s successfully completed rehab.

Shortly after the plea was struck, Lindsay issued a statement admitting an addiction to drugs and alcohol.

“It is clear to me that my life has become completely unmanageable because I am addicted to alcohol and drugs.

Recently, I relapsed and did things for which I am ashamed. I broke the law, and today I took responsibility by pleading guilty to the charges in my case. No matter what I said when I was under the influence on the day I was arrested, I am not blaming anyone else for my conduct other than myself. I thank God I did not injure others. I easily could have.

I very much want to be healthy and gain control of my life and career and have asked for medical help in doing so. I am taking these steps to improve my life. Luckily, I am not alone in my daily struggle and I know that people like me have succeeded. Maybe with time it will become easier. I hope so.”

This is all total bullshit, y/n? Personally, I’m going with “y.”

Paris Hilton settled a $10 million defamation lawsuit brought against her by diamond heiress Zeta Graff. In the suit, Graff claimed Paris spread “vicious lies” about her to the media in 2005 while Paris was engaged to Graff’s former boyfriend, Paris Latsis.

A trial was scheduled to begin on Monday, but luckily an “amicable resolution” was reached by both parties this week.

Graff, who for two years reportedly dated Greek shipping heir Paris Latsis (Hilton’s former fiancé circa 2005), contended in her suit that Hilton spread “vicious lies” about her to the media, specifically, to the New York Post.

The paper reported on July 2, 2005, that Graff, who had a small role in Luc Besson’s 1997 film The Fifth Element, went “berserk” in a London nightclub, tried to strangle Hilton and attempted to steal her diamond necklace.

Contending that the report strayed from the truth, Graff also allegedly said that Hilton said “I’m going to destroy you” after trying to have her (Graff) ejected from the club, according to court papers.

Hilton, whose relationship with the shipping heir subsequently hit the rocks, denied that she was the hidden hand behind the report.

But, the AP reports, former Hilton publicist Rob Shuter stated in a deposition that his client asked him to help plant the story.

Details of the settlement are to remain confidential, according to a statement released by Graff’s attorney, Bruce Broillet.

Do y’all remember Paris Latsis? Homeboy was a mess–hardly worth fighting over.

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Katie Holmes and look-a-like daughter Suri enjoyed a stroll around Paris yesterday. Mom and daughter went on a shopping spree and visited a couple galleries, all the while keeping it wicked cute.

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Lindsay Lohan is one lucky girl: the Los Angeles District Attorney declined to file felony charges against her in court today. Although she was hit with seven misdemeanors, she dodged a bullet on the cocaine charges. Perhaps more good news for her: a plea bargain may be in the works for later today.

Lohan, who was busted twice since Memorial Day weekend, was charged with two counts of driving under the influence. If convicted of both, she’d face a minimum of four days in jail. If a felony were filed, Lohan could have faced several years in state prison.

As to why no felony charges were filed, the DA says Lohan’s cocaine traces “were below the .05 grams required by office policy for felony filing.” Sources tell us there were also problems even proving she was in possession of the drug.

As for the second case, a law enforcement source tells us the manner in which the cocaine was seized was questionable. In addition, the source says the amount of cocaine “didn’t meet the threshold for filing.”

But there’s more to the story: In deciding whether to file felony cocaine charges, the D.A. always looks at the person and the circumstances. In Lohan’s case, the fact that she was busted twice in a short period of time actually helped her. It shows someone is struggling with an addiction problem. The fact that each time she was busted, she immediately checked into a rehab facility also helped her case. Also, her age — 21 — and the fact that her upbringing was extremely unstable — also worked in her favor.

One law enforcement source put it this way: “Prosecutors in this county see a lot of kids in crisis. There are lots of kids struggling with addiction. The first sign of trouble usually involves a car. We’re not going to throw every one of them in prison. It doesn’t make sense.”

The story is still developing, so hopefully we’ll get more information in the next couple hours.

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