Britney Spears’ new single, “Gimme More,” debuted on a NYC radio station tonight, and I think it totally sucks. But then again, I’m a hater, and I think everything sucks. What do you think?

Britney Spears: “Gimme More” via Zshare 

• Oh hey, Demi and Ashton. [GB]
• Bummer: Nick Hogan crashed his “pussy magnet.” [GH]
• Thank God: Justin Timberlake and Andy Samberg are set to perform “Dick in a Box” at the Emmys. [Celebitchy]
• Lily Allen smokes up. [CS]
• Charlotte Church can’t think of a name to name her unborn daughter. [CBB]
• Lauren Conrad plus bikini. [JIYH]
• Random D-listers celebrate something! Yay! [SOW]
• Check out the cast for the upcoming season of America’s Next Top Model. [CDL]
• David Beckham injured his ankle again. [Gabsmash]
• Jay-Z threatens to kill Rihanna… I think? [RR]
• Miss South Carolina Teen USA models. [Bastardly]
• Ugh, I can’t stand Jaime Pressly. [DS]
• Larry Birkhead is fightin’ with OK! Magazine. [WLC]
• This is my new favorite video. [ASL]
• Oh lordy: casting recently began for Rock of Love 2. [CS]
• Shia and Rihanna are going things with strawberries. Idk. [WW]

Britney Spears is reportedly preparing quite the spectacle for her performance at the MTV Video Awards. According to Us Weekly, Britney and new dude Criss Angel worked on the performance together, and it involves smoke and mirrors. No really, there will be lots of smoke and mirrors.

“She’s planning it to be a big comeback performance,” says a Spears insider, who adds that the goal is to make it “shocking.”

One early idea that was canned?

Performing “My Prerogative” amid a medley of hits, as images of exes Justin Timberlake, 26, and Kevin Federline, 29, and other gossip fodder flashed on a screen behind her.

As for a report that she’d do a duet with Timberlake?

“Totally, patently false,” says a Timberlake source.

Oh, but that’s not all!

- She will not open the show, she will close it.
- The performance will be a medley of a new ballad titled “Cry” followed by her new single “Gimme More”.
- It will allegedly be one of her most “complex” performances to date.
- She is set to dance in and out of mirrors which will make her appear and disappear at different areas of the stage (guided by Criss Angel).
- Dance rehearsals are currently underway in Las Vegas (sans Britney)
- Some dancers will be rigged and suspended in mid-air.
- The performance includes a reggaeton style instrumental break down.

If there’s one thing I know about life, it’s that “reggaeton-style instrumental break downs” always bring the lolz.

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Paris Hilton helped a worse-for-the-wear Brandon Davis celebrate his 27th birthday at Mr. Chow in Beverly Hills last night. Although the birthday boy opted for greasy hair and a yucky t-shirt, Paris dressed up in her prettiest dress and jewels for the occasion. Little did she know she could have worn her old Lynwood jail coveralls and fit in perfectly.

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Photographers snapped Gwen Stefani and husband Gavin Rossdale on Wednesday hitting up a grocery store in Hawaii. The couple is enjoying a brief intermission in Gwen’s hectic tour schedule, which continues on in early September.

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Despite reports claiming Bridget Moynahan and ex-boyfriend Tom Brady were remaining civil in the wake of the birth of their first child, NYDN alleged Bridget was none-too-happy to have Tom around after the birth. The New England Patriots QB flew to LA from Boston to see his new son, John Edward Thomas, but Bridget made it clear to him she didn’t want him around.

“Tom was only allowed to see the baby for a short time,” says a West Coast spy. “Bridget would not see him herself.” Moynahan’s publicist said in a statement: “Bridget is very thankful for a happy baby, excited about being a mother, and very pleased that the father, Tom Brady, was able to be there for the birth.”

But our source says: “He was only allowed to come after the baby was born. The woman would not see him, period. And she gave the baby her last name.”

“[Tom] is waiting to find out when he can see the little guy again,” says the snitch. “Bridget is not giving him any slack on this at all.”

Bridget announced she was pregnant shortly after she split from Tom after dating for three years. Tom hooked up with Gisele Bundchen around the same time.

The actress’ rep said Bridget and Tom were “together” at the hospital, but couldn’t say if Tom was in the room for the birth. “Bridget and Tom are on speaking terms and have the best interests of the child at heart,” he said.

Sienna Miller and her new friend Rhys Ifans spent yesterday flower shopping in London. I’ve heard the two recently starting dating, and I really hope it’s not true, because I find him exceedingly unattractive, and don’t want to be inundated with photos of them making out.

Seriously, I’ll barf.

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