• There has never been a woman in the world more pregnant than Minnie Driver is right now. [TB]
• Hilary Swank continues to look like a dude. [BST]
• Shia LaBeouf smokes up on the set of “Transformers 2.” [SOW]
• Cameron Diaz is still datingJennifer Aniston’s ex-boyfriend. [HMG]
• American Idol added a fourth judge. [FH]
• A few members of Helena Bonham Carter’s family died during a trip to South Africa. [DH]
• Elsa Benitez is seriously naked. [EG]
• Random Reese Witherspoon appearance. [DS]
• “Chinese Democracy” sucks. Like, really bad. [AIW]
• Cher is in talks to play Catwoman in the next Batman film. [PB]
• Chris Kattan officially separated from his wife of two months. MANGO! [GB]
• Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams are back together. [DR]
• Michael Lohan is ready to fight Kevin Federline for charity. [WIMB]
• I should watch wrestling more often. [AY]
• How was “The House Bunny?” [PJ]
• Lindsay Lohan’s boobs are back in full effect. [CNW]
• Rihanna is bummed. [IDWYL]
• Charlie Sheen and his wife are reportedly expecting a baby. [CB]
• Kristen Bell does Russian Maxim. [RR]

Kim Kardashian was rushed to New York’s Presbyterian Hospital on Sunday night after she cut her foot open on a glass coffee table. During an interview with Good Morning America on Monday, Kim milked the situation for all it was worth.

She said she used her foot to push away a broken “mirrored, Venetian little desk” and cut herself “pretty badly” in her New York City hotel room.

“If you saw my room, it looked like a murder scene!” Kardashian said.

All in all, she said, “I did hurt myself, but I’m fine.”

Despite this grievous injury, Kim confirmed she will still compete on the seventh season on Dancing With the Stars. ABC announced the contestants earlier today:

• Toni Braxton, singer, 40, and season one DWTS champ Alec Mazo
• Lance Bass, singer, 29, and Lacey Schwimmer
• Ted McGinley, actor, 50, and Inna Brayer
• Cloris Leachman, actress, 82, and Corky Ballas
• Warren Sapp, former NFL star, 35, and Kym Johnson
• Rocco DiSpirito, chef, 41, and Karina Smirnoff
• Kim Kardashian, TV personality, 27, and reigning DWTS champ Mark Ballas
• Maurice Green, Olympic gold medalist track and field star, 34, and two-time DWTS champ Cheryl Burke
• Misty May-Treanor, Olympic gold medalist beach volleyball player, 31, and Maksim Chmerkovskiy
• Susan Lucci, Emmy-award winning soap opera actress, 61, and Tony Dovolani
• Jeffrey Ross, 42, comedian, and Edyta Sliwinska
• Cody Linley, 18, actor, and two-time DWTS champ Julianne Hough
• Brooke Burke, 36, TV personality, and Derek Hough

My money is on anyone who is not Kim Kardashian.

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The 2008 MTV Video Music Awards will be 100% less-funny than last year’s ceremony. Britney Spears’ manager confirmed today that she will not attempt to perform this year. Bummer.

“Britney Spears will not be performing at the VMAs this year. I’m telling you officially and unequivocally,” Ryan Seacrest quoted her manager, Larry Rudolph, as saying on his KIIS-FM radio show Monday morning.

Rudolph told Seacrest that Spears “is in the middle of recording her next album, which is going amazingly well, and was never supposed to perform at that show.”

Despite being nominated seventeen times, Britney Spears has never won an award at the VMA’s. This year, she’s up for three awards, including Best Music Video for her shit-tastic “Piece of Me.”

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Congrats to Alessandra Ambrosio: the supermodel gave birth to a daughter named Anja Louise on Sunday in Brazil. It is the first child for Alessandra and boyfriend Jamie Mazur.

“To all of our family and friends, we are pleased to announce that our little princess Anja Louise Ambrosio Mazur was born on Sunday Aug 24 at 7:32 p.m.,” Ambrosio says in a statement. “She is 6.3 lbs. and absolutely perfect.”

“She hasn’t cried once except for a second when they pulled her out. We have now felt a new kind of love and joy that we never knew existed.”

Despite the fact that she just gave birth, Alessandra plans to be back in perfect physical condition in time for Victoria’s Secret runway show in November.

If you thought the video for “Higher” was horrible, just wait until you get a peek at Heidi Montag’s new jam, “Overdosin’.” “The Hills” dipshit decked herself out in some Jane Fonda aerobics gear for the video. I dread watching the finished product.

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Photographers snapped Pierce Brosnan and wife Keely Shaye Smith kissing in the sand on a Hawaiian beach over the weekend.

Keely, who I personally think looks pretty fly for 44 year old woman with two kids, never seems to wear clothing nowadays. Have you noticed that? She only appears in public wearing bikinis. The couple spend most of their time at their home in Kauai, so I guess it kinda makes sense, but still… what does she wear to the grocery store?

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Last week we heard celebrity stylist Rachel Zoe admit to the fact that she essentially eats nothing on an everyday basis. This week, she clarified her statements, saying she doesn’t advocate the same lifestyle for her famous clients (who include Nicole Richie, Mischa Barton, and Lindsay Lohan.) In fact, Rachel claimed she’s actually a “food pusher,” whatever that means.

“I am very pro-eating,” said Rachel while promoting her new Bravo reality show, The Rachel Zoe Project, premiering Sept. 9. “And if you ask anyone that is in my personal life or professional life, I’m almost a food pusher.”

“You know, I kind of like don’t let people leave my home or my studio without either eating or without taking a little goody bag for the car or something.

“So I am very in support of healthy women and healthy bodies. In fact, every woman that I work with—at this point in my life—is a very healthy woman [with] a very kind of curvy, healthy, athletic body.”

Homegirl should consider pushing some of that food into her own face, rather than pushing it in a goody bag.