I assumed only douchebags in the 1990’s got tribal tattoos, but I was apparently wrong. Rihanna attended a UNICEF event on Wednesday sporting a new tattoo on her hand. When asked what was up with the spiraling design, Rihanna responded “It’s tribal.” oh, ok.

“It represents strength and love.”

Rihanna also revealed that she got the exotic-looking tat while in New Zealand for a recent tour date.

“It’s their traditional way of tattooing,” she said of the Maori-inspired geometric design. “I always wanted [one].”

But even for a tattoo enthusiast like Rihanna, this particular method had one big drawback: “It hurt like hell!”

Yeah, but it’s “tribal,” so it will be in style forever!

Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson got over their slap-fight rather quickly: although they reportedly brawled on a London dancefloor this week, the couple attended the grand opening of Atlantis Palm Resort and the Palm Jumeirah in Dubai yesterday, and appeared to be back to their happy selves.

Samantha’s mother, Ann Dexter Jones, arrived arm-in-arm with girls, and stayed to watch Samantha DJ at the after-party.

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Mary-Kate Olsen attended the grand opening of Atlantis Palm Resort and the Palm Jumeirah in Dubai yesterday, and she dressed like someone’s creepy grandmother. You like?

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MTV screened the first thirty minutes of their upcoming Britney Spears documentary for the media on Thursday. Us Weekly broke down some of the topics on the special, which will air on MTV November 30.

JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE:
“With Justin, he was part of the magnitude of what I had become. So when he was gone I was like, What am I supposed to do with myself? I was devastated [by the breakup] but I handled it a lot better than the [split] with Kevin….He started to do an album for himself and he started to do things for himself, and I just never saw him anymore….When it ended I felt so alone. I didn’t really wanna think about the reality of it. I never faced it….I just ran.”

THE 2007 BREAKDOWN
“My trust has really been battered….Sometimes it can get kinda lonely….I had totally lost my way. I lost focus. I lost myself. I let certain people into my life that were just bad people…because I was lonely….I really paid the consequences for that. Big time….What the hell was I thinking?”

CURRENT STATE OF MIND
“Do I know my life is weird? It’s all I’ve ever known. I don’t see it as being weird….I’m kind of stuck in this place and I’m like, How do you deal? I just cope with it every day….It’s better not to feel anything at all and have hope than to feel the other way….It’s bad. I’m sad. It’s like [the movie] Groundhog Day every day. It’s really boring….Normal is really different for everybody….In my situation, I try to make it as normal as possible for me….It could be a lot worse. There are people out there who have it a lot worse than I do….I used to be a cool chick but I feel like the paparazzi has taken that away from me, like, the way I used to live my life. I used to be a cool chick but I’m not anymore.”

From now on, when I shave my head and have to be taken away on a stretcher to a psych ward, I’m going to use Britney’s excuse: “Oh dude, my trust was totes battered!” Or I’ll just blame it on the paparazzi. Whatev.

Ashlee Simpson gave birth to a 7lb, 11oz baby boy last night at Cedar-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles. Bronx Mowgli Wentz is the first child for Ashlee and husband Pete Wentz.

“Ashlee, Pete and baby Bronx are all healthy and happy, and thank everyone for their well wishes!” a spokesperson tells People.

On the real, if my name was “Bronx Mowgli Wentz,” I would just crawl right back into my mother’s vajay and try to suffocate myself or something.

Winona Ryder fell ill during a transatlantic flight from LA to London this week. The troubled actress was rushed to a hospital from Heathrow after she reportedly overdosed on Xanax during the flight. Sources claimed Winona suffers from anxiety when flying, and accidentally over-medicated herself.

When I overserve myself with Benzos, Mr. Alyk calls it “taking a ride on the relax-i-cab.” He’s cute like that.

Although her publicist refused to confirm the nature of the star’s illness last night, she said her client was discharged an hour later ‘in good health’.

Mara Buxbaum said: ‘She did fall ill on a plane and as a precautionary measure they took her to hospital. She was there for an hour. She’s in good health. There’s no drama.’

Winona later took another BA flight to another European city.

A spokesman for British Airways said: ‘The captain of BA282, which was travelling from LA to Heathrow, requested a priority landing as a female passenger required medical attention.’

Members of the crew looked after the star, while BA ground staff accompanied her to hospital, he added.

I would just like to point out that I made it three paragraphs without making a joke amount Winona stealing shit. It’s a new record for me.