• Lindsay Lohan does her best Madonna impression. [AIW]
• Jeremy Piven was caught eating sushi again, despite his “mercury poisoning” incident. [BB]
• Non-shocker of the day: Paris Hilton with a stripper pole. [CK]
• Reese Witherspoon said her divorce from Ryan Philippe was “humiliating and isolating.” [CB]
• Oh gross: an OctoMom birth tape. [CS]
• Scarlett Johansson isn’t sure if she’s up to playing a “gladiatrix.” [DS]
• Vanilla Ice apologizes for “Ice Ice Baby.” [DL]
• “High School Musical 4″ is in the works. [GB]
• According to tabloid reports, Rihanna secretly married Chris Brown in Miami. [YH]
• Jennifer Aniston pays up to $50,000 to get her hair did. [INMF]
• Check out the first photos of Angelina Jolie in her upcoming film “Salt.” [POTP]
• Heidi Klum takes the bra-mobile for a spin. [PB]
• Lindsay Lohan’s NYC home is up for sale. [TB]
• Mariska Hargitay was hospitalized again. [GH]
• Megan Fox is set to star in two comic book-inspired movies. [HMG]
• Barron Trump is getting so big! [CVL]
• James Franco scored a book deal. [JS]
• Random Kristen Stewart appearance. [IDWYL]
• The Gauntly Twins. [AY]
• Season 12 of “America’s Next Top Model” starts tonight! [SOW]
• Mischa Barton keeps it classy. [BST]
• More from Britney Spears’ “Circus” debut performance. [WIMB]
• Malin Akerman debuts her vag. [CNW]
• Police found Rihanna’s blood in Chris Brown’s rented car. [AG]

Fatboy Slim, perhaps the most famous DJ in the world, checked himself into a London rehab clinic on Monday. The DJ, real name Norman Cook, voluntarily entered the facility to fight an addiction to alcohol.

His manager Garry Blackburn said: “Norman’s gone in voluntarily to sort out his drinking problem.”

A source added: “Norman decided that the only way to kick his booze addiction for good was to check himself into a clinic.

“He chose the centre in the South of England because it gets good results and is in a quiet location.”

Fatboy Slim is set to release his first disc in over five years sometimen 2009. The disc, titled “Here Lies Love,” is a concept album he recorded with David Byrne about the life of Imelda Marcos and her relationship with a servant from her childhood.

Sounds kooky.

A plastic surgeon told Grazia Magazine he knows the secret to Madonna’s youthful good looks. Judging by photos of Madonna before her Oscar party last month, Dr Alex Karidis said he believes the fifty year old singer underwent a procedure called a “ribbon lift.”

The $6,000 procedure involves inserting a dissolvable ribbon through incisions around the earlobes. The ribbon lifts neck tissue to give the patient’s face a tighter appearance.

Mr Karidis explained: “[A tube-like device] is tunnelled under the skin and has lots of tiny hooks that attach to the muscle and tissue. We then pull it upwards to lift the whole area.

“It doesn’t appear as if the ribbon has dissolved properly. However, she looks to have cleverly covered it with a loose hairstyle at the Oscars party.”

Madonna has remained enigmatic on the subject of surgery, saying previously: “I am certainly not against plastic surgery; however, I am absolutely against having to discuss it.”

It takes a couple months for the ribbon to be absorbed, and the lifting results last for approximately three years.

Britney Spears kicked off her forty-four date “Circus” tour in New Orleans last night to mixed reviews. Fans ate the show up, praising Britney for her toned body and multiple costume changes, while critics gave thumbs down for her obvious lip-syncing and regurgitated dance moves.

Los Angeles Times critic Ann Powers wrote: “Her singing was dominated by a backing track.

“Her moves were nothing special, defined by much strutting and stripper-like shimmying, with the minimum amount of acrobatics to prove her mettle as a dance-pop queen.”

MTV’s James Montgomery said: “At times, Britney herself is almost dwarfed by the spectacle… She brought the circus to her hometown, and it was a huge, sold-out, screaming success.

“It probably just would’ve benefited from a little more Britney Spears, that’s all.”

Unfortunately for Britney, James Montgomery got one detail wrong: the show didn’t actually sell out. Concert-goers just weren’t willing to pay $500-$750 to see Britney lip-sync “I’m a Slave for U” again.

Like most other Americans, I planned on skipping the show, until I read this detail about the concert:

During one song, she gave a lapdance to a clown and pretended to fondle her male dancers.

How could I possibly miss that!?!

For reasons I’m not entirely sure of, Shauna Sand (who is probably a member of Mensa) had a diamond implanted into one of her teeth this week at a Beverly Hills dentist office. Sadly, it wasn’t a huge, midget-sized diamond like Nelly has in his mouth, but instead it was just a tiny little chip of a diamond. Hella ghetto, if you ask me.

If Shauna inspired you to follow suit and put diamonds all up in your grill, Dr. Ronald Cunning, aka the Rapper Dentist, can hook you up. Dr. Cunning’s fabulous website proudly proclaims, ”The Doc says flossin’s really good/Tell all the boyz down in the hood!”

You’re totally going to make an appointment, aren’t you? Be sure to bring the paparazzi with you to document the process.

Source

Lindsay Lohan and Lily Allen got bro tats on their index finger reading “Shhh..” but unfortunately, Rihanna had the tattoo first. After learning about her tattoo faux pas, Lily admitted she was hella embarrassed.

“I’ve since found out Rihanna’s got the same thing, so it’s not really, I mean she’s very cool, but I thought I was being original.”

I suggest turning the “Shhhh…” “Shhhhit.” I mean, whatev, but my idea totally works.