• Some things never change… including Lindsay Lohan’s love of slicing up her own wrists. [SL]
• The Sarah Silverman Show has been saved. [JS]
• First Lady Michelle Obama appeared on the cover of O Magazine with Oprah Winfrey. [CVL]
• Chris Brown’s arraignment delayed until April 6. [POTP]
• Hayden Panettiere was spotted trying to get some action off Gerard Butler and Anthony Kiedis. [CNW]
• Kim Kardashian looks like she’s wearing a paper bag. [YH]
• Britney Spears is cool with allowing her two young sons to see her racy “Circus” performance. [WIMB]
• Lily Allen claimed she’s broke. [TB]
• What’s up with Beth Ditto’s eyebrows? [BST]
• “Grey’s Anatomy” gave Katherine Heigl’s character cancer. [SOW]
• Hugh Hefner is looking a little frail. [HMG]
• Lucy Liu has a new career. [INMF]
• Police arrested Coolio for possession of crack. [GH]
• No Botox for Jennifer Aniston. [GB]
• Peaches Geldof should consider investing in a pair of shoes that actually fit her. [AY]
• Zac Efron’s mother gave him a stocking filled with condoms for Christmas. [DL]
• Wilmer Valderrama attempts to stay relevant. [DS]
• Ice-T and Coco keep it classy, of course. [CS]
• Brad Pitt met President Obama at the White House. [CB]
• Courtney Love keeping it crazy, of course. [CK]
• Joe Francis and Brody Jenner had a girl fight. [AIW]
• Amy Winehouse buys candy, not crack… for once, at least. [PB]

Perpetual bachelor Vince Vaughn is reportedly engaged to Canadian real estate agent Kyla Weber. Kyla’s blabby father broke the news to the Montreal Gazette, although Vince’s camp has yet to confirm the engagement.

Vince and Kyla started dating last summer, and got engaged on Valentine’s Day.

“They spent a romantic weekend together. He dropped to one knee to propose and presented her with a gorgeous $125,000 4-carat diamond set in platinum. They’ll have their wedding either in L.A. or Alberta, and they’re both ready to start a family immediately!”

Look on the bright side, Jennifer Aniston: yes, another of your ex-boyfriends is getting married, but at least you have $50,000 hair. Do you think Kyla Weber has $50,000 hair? Nuh-uh.

Salma Hayek and new husband Francois-Henri Pinault attended the Balenciaga runway show Thursday morning for Paris Fashion Week. This was the first public appearance for the couple since they married in a secret ceremony on Valentine’s Day.

As the couple arrived, press photographers, who had been shut out of their secret wedding, shouted out in a chorus of, “Congratulations on your wedding!” Replied a smiling Hayek: “Thank you very much.”

“She was kind of amused by that,” one of the participants told People, adding about the bride and groom, “They seemed very content.”

Pinault, who is some sort of mega-billionaire, owns the Balenciaga fashion house, as well as half of France. He has a one and half year old daughter, Valentina Paloma, with Salma.

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Let there be no confusion on the subject: Paris Hilton and baseball player Doug Reinhardt are definitely an item. The couple was spotted spreading some herp a few nights ago in West Hollywood.

Doug previously dated Lauren Conrad and Amanda Bynes, who dumped the MLB player in Jaunary because she thought “he was using her for her celebrity.” I’m sure that has nothing to do with why Doug was so eager to be photographed with his tongue down Paris Hilton’s throat.

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According to Variety, Dakota Fanning is in the running to join the cast of the upcoming Runways biopic. Kristen Stewart signed on to play Joan Jett, and now, Dakota is being considered to play Cherie Currie, who started the all-girl punk band at age 15.

No word yet on who will play Lita Ford, Jackie Fox, and Sandy West.

Jade Goody underwent an emergency operation on Monday to relieve some pain caused by the cancer ravaging her body. Her rep said the operation will hopefully “improve her quality of life in the near future for as long as possible.”

Unfortunately, Jade is now too ill to attend a baptism she planned for herself and her two young sons.

Doting Jade, 27, whose last dying wish is to be baptized in church with Bobby, five, and Freddie, four, could barely open her eyes as she lay heavily sedated after an emergency bowel op to ease her agony.

Jade will reportedly be baptized in her bed at the Royal Marsden Hospital in London.

Photographers snapped Victoria Beckham at LAX yesterday, and homegirl looked like she was about to storm the beaches at Normandy.

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