Archive for March 24th, 2009

  • Jennifer Aniston as the grim reaper. [DS]
  • Lindsay Lohan thinks we’re “sickos.” [CVL]
  • Damon Dash and wife Rachel Roy split. [TS]
  • Hugh Laurie visits Letterman. [AS]
  • Dustin Diamond can’t pay his electric bill. [JS]
  • It’s safe for Miley Cyrus to do the Asian eye thing again. [AG]
  • I’m so jealous. [POTP]
  • Michael Jackson set his sights on the Harry Potter kids. [CNW]
  • I’m switching my foundation to the one on the left. [AY]
  • OctoMom fired her free nannies because she’s a paranoid wacko. [HMG]
  • Geri Halliwell looks dreamy. [AIW]
  • Madonna’s whorey-ness may affect her next adoption. [YH]
  • Lindsay Lohan managed to bang up her new Maserati. [WIMB]
  • Anne Hathaway is set to take on Judy Garland. [PB]
  • Twitter ruined another relationship. [INMF]
  • Thanks for bumming out my evening. The monotone voice-over really added to the creep factor, btw. [GH]
  • Kim Kardashian wants you to stop stealing her Twitter identity. [GB]
  • HIlary Duff films “SVU.” [BST]
  • Someone needs a trim. [SOW]
  • Amy Winehouse, the hard way. [TB]
  • Nicole Richie and Joel Madden attend a UNICEF event. [BB]

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Angelina Jolie, owner of the world’s scariest zombie arms, reportedly started a “liquid detox” diet in order to lose weight for a movie role. At 5′7 and 120 pounds, Angelina told sources she would like to lose an additional 21 pounds for her role in the spy flick “Salt.”

The diet, living on a mixture of lemon juice, cayenne pepper and maple syrup, is leaving her weak.

A source said: “She does all her own stunts but we worry she could injure herself due to the weight loss.”

Can you imagine how sexy Angelina is going to look when she weighs less than 100 pounds? Like, with her cheeks all sunken in and her ribs poking out and shit? I can’t wait!

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Supermodel Agyness Deyn and Strokes guitarist Albert Hammond Jr reportedly ended their relationship. The couple started dating last June, and according to press reports, became engaged in August. A New York Magazine piece, however, posted a “Relationship Obituary” for Agyness and Albert that claimed they were never engaged, and had problems for quite a while.

The magazine reports: “The Relationship passed away recently, according to a source close to the deceased. It was less than one year old and, contrary to rumour, had not grown into an Engagement.”

It is claimed that they decided to split shortly after appearing together in a Valentine’s Day photo shoot for Vogue magazine.

The jokey obituary continues: “The cause of death [of the relationship] was by mutual agreement and sources say the Relationship has been reincarnated as the Friendship.”

Agyness has since been photographed on the streets of NYC with the obligatory “mystery long-haired man.”

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In the April issue of Allure Magazine, forty-three year old supermodel Cindy Crawford once again got naked for a photoshoot. The sudsy nude photo (below in the thumbnail) featured just enough carefully-placed foam to preserve Cindy’s modesty.

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