• Kate Moss attempts to time-travel back to an age when Claire’s Boutique was still cool. [CVL]
• Kathy Griffin’s best Paris Hilton imitation. [AS]
• Marg Helgenberger and her long-time husband are dunzo. [SOW]
• A former housekeeper sued Kobe Bryant and his wife for being shitty employers. [DS]
• Guess dat ass. [CS]
• Oh gross. [TB]
• Casting news for the next “Twilight” film. [TS]
• Dina Lohan aggressively Twitters. [POTP]
• Check out the trailer for “Where the Wild Things Are.” [HMG]
• Lauren Conrad’s clothing line is dunzo. [AG]
• Kanye West is the smartest man alive, umkay? [CNW]
• Sarah Jessica Parker just keeps getting more and more beautiful. [JS]
• Neither? [AY]
• I want one! [LS]
• Madonna said knock you out. [BB]
• Amy Winehouse is never gonna give you up, never gonna run around and desert you.  [YH]
• Angeline Jolie wants Brad Pitt to keep his paws to himself. [PB]
• Jennifer Love Hewitt drags the paparazzi on vacation in Mexico. [BST]
• Who got the boot from Dancing with the Stars? It’s complicated. [AIW]

Jade Goody’s mother and husband set a date for the Brit reality star’s memorial service. Thousands of mourners are expected to descend upon  St. John the Baptist church in Buckhurst Hill in Essex, England on April 4 to say goodbye to Jade.

A 21-car funeral procession will leave Goody’s home in Essex at noon that Saturday en route to the service at St. John the Baptist church in Buckhurst Hill, the BBC reports. Large, outdoor TV screens will be set up for the occasion.

The church service is expected to commence with Goody’s favorite hymn, “All Things Bright and Beautiful,” and the 27-year-old will then be laid to rest in Epping Forest Burial Park in North Weald.

Jade died of cervical cancer on Sunday, just seven months after being diagnosed. She left behind two sons, Bobby, five, and Freddie, four.

Nicole Richie and her growing bump worked the press line at the Richie-Madden Children’s Foundation fundraiser Monday night in Hollywood. While she confirmed she was pregnant with her second child, Nicole jokingly shot down rumors that she was expecting twins this time around.

[Nicole's] beau’s brother Benji Madden joked to Usmagazine.com, “She already has twins.”

Richie, 27, then added, “I have twins. People popped out of me yesterday.”

Did Joel Maddens’ twin brother really just make a reference to Nicole’s huge norks? Kind of weird. And creepy.

Lindsay Lohan spoke out to E Online this week, and proclaimed she is completely sober… despite what recent photographs portray.

“I don’t drink, I don’t do drugs and I don’t lie,” she said. “I love to act and write and be creative, and I want to help people by playing characters that can send a positive message out to whomever may need it.”

Oh… so you were just acting like you had coke residue all over your nose?

Amy Winehouse, who was reportedly forced to go back to the drawing board for her new disc, attempted to scale the fence around her new home this week. The singer was assisted by some dude with a very unpleasant attitude.

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Scarlett Johansson and her awkward brunette hair attended the Moet & Chandon Tribute to Cinema in London last night.

You like? I’m for real not feeling the dark hair. The Loubs are hot, though.

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