• True love means really obnoxious PDA at sporting events. [CVL]
• This lady knows how to pose for a mug shot. [TSG]
• Madonna’s crotch will never rest. [JS]
• Vanessa Hudgens believes pants are optional. [CDL]
• Gerard Butler really gets around. [INMF]
• Hugh Jackman reminds us once again that he is not gay. [GB]
• A “Clueless” sequel is reportedly in the works. [DS]
• The next season of “Celebrity Rehab” will focus on sex addiction. [CS]
• More from Lindsay Lohan’s interview with Ellen DeGeneres. [AG]
• Shepherd Smith says the eff word live on Fox News. [TS]
• Levi Johnston doesn’t kiss and tell. Or, at least not with old dudes. [HMG]
• Vanessa Minnillo is riding dirty fo sho. [POTP]
• Salma Hayek is set to marry her baby-daddy again. [TB]
• Police are investigating Michael Jackson in a hit-and-run case. [AIW]
• Kate Moss in another fug dress. [AY]
• Matthew McConaughey’s kid enjoys pissing on him. [CNW]
• Creepy: Octomom used to strip under the name “Angelina.” [YH]
• Kevin Federline managed to get fatter. [WIMB]
• Random Alessandra Ambrosio appearance. [BST]
• Paris Hilton and that dude she’s banging engaged in an awkward photo-op. [BB]
• Tori Spelling and sandwich rehab. [PB]

For reasons I’m not entirely sure of, Paris Hilton posed for a photo-op with Chantal Biya, the First Lady of Cameroon. The odd couple were paired up the African Ladies’ Health Summit Gala on Tuesday in Beverly Hills.

I have no clue how Paris ended up being invited to such an event, but I think it probably involved sending the invitation to the wrong address.

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Jamie Hince should keep a close eye on his woman: Kate Moss allegedly hooked up with wannabe rock star Eve Berlin from the Living Things last June.

The American rocker’s brother, the band’s lead singer Lillian says: “Walking in on my brother and Kate Moss with their clothes off, that was very awkward.

“I don’t like to look at my brother naked. Between my brother being naked and seeing Kate Moss naked with my brother, that was very awkward.”

When asked if Kate and Jamie were an item at the time, he joked: “No comment. What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”

After meeting Eve and Lillian, Kate suggested the brothers to star with her in Roberto Cavalli’s fall/winter campaign. Eve is the fem-looking one in the above photos.

On Wednesday, Lindsay Lohan taped an appearance on the Ellen DeGeneres Show, in which she discussed being unceremoniously dumped by girlfriend Samantha Ronson earlier this month. Lindsay claimed the break up “came out of nowhere.”

“When you don’t know you’re breaking up. Really weird.

“I had no idea what was going on. I just hadn’t seen her in, like, a week. She, like, disappeared.”

Lohan didn’t discuss what may have led to it after a “really tough night” but denied infidelity was the cause. “I don’t believe in cheating on someone,” says Lohan.

“I really care about Samantha and we’ll see what happens,” she says. “Maybe when we’re fully in the right place. And I love her.”

Despite Lindsay’s assertion to Ellen that she wasn’t dating anyone, Life & Style claimed Lindsay hooked up with some British dude named Chris Jepson at a house party on April 15. The tab said Lindsay introduced the new dude to her mother, Dina, and she’s “happy she’s moved on from Samantha.”

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Rather than sitting around and snorting Quaaludes off a midget’s ass with boyfriend Marilyn Manson (or whatever weird people do in their spare time, I have no clue), Evan Rachel Wood is geared up for a new role.

According to Entertainment Weekly, Evan signed on for a pivotal role on HBO’s “True Blood.” The mag claimed Evan will play Sophie-Anne, “vampire queen of Louisiana.”

In other news, Evan showed up at the Tribeca Film Festial this week with an Edgar Allen Poe quote splashed across her back. It competes with “We will laugh at gilded butterflies” for longest-winded back tattoo of the year.

OT fact: I live a few doors down from Edgar Allen Poe’s birthplace, and it’s now a burrito restaurant next to an alley where college kids buy crack. It’s a dream within a dream!

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