Blake Fielder-Civil began divorce proceedings against wife Amy Winehouse over the weekend. Through his attorney, Blake claimed he was going through with the divorce on the grounds of Amy’s alleged adultery. Brit celebrity lawyer Henri Brandman said his client will ask for half of Amy’s $20 million estate.

Blake admitted he was furious to read an interview with Amy in the News of the World, in which the singer claimed she was in love with 21 year old actor Josh Bowman. Josh and Amy met on the island of St. Lucia two weeks ago, and according to Amy, fell in love and now spend all their time sexin’.

Dressed in her familiar holey black vest, hotpants and no shoes, she swings her dirty bare feet onto a chair on the hotel’s terrace and says: “I love it here and have never felt so happy. In fact I don’t think I’m ever going home. I was supposed to go last week but I thought fuck that, I’m staying!

“Especially as I met Josh here. He couldn’t be more different from my husband, which is not a bad thing. Blake looks like me, a right mess. But Josh is all handsome and clean and that’s what I love about him.

“When I’m with Josh I don’t need drugs to feel good because he makes me feel so amazing.”

She then leans forward and whispers cheekily: “We just had sex. . . can’t you tell?”

Um, ew. Amy took it a step further in the interview, and compared Josh’s bedroom skills to Blake’s.

“Blake was rubbish in bed. Do you know what? Almost every time I slept with him it was like I was dead. I don’t know what’s going on with us now and for the time being I’ve just forgotten I’m even married.

“I’m just here on my own, happy and having a good time with Josh. I’ll deal with Blake when I get back. But our whole marriage was based on doing drugs. So being with someone like Josh is much better for me.”

Amy also noted she’s better-looking now that she’s clean and sober and in love.

“Before I came out here I looked at a photo of myself in the newspaper and was horrified. My skin was a spotty mess and I was so pale and skinny. I thought to myself, ‘Girl, you got to sort yourself out or you’ll be dead soon.’

“I was depressed, doing drugs and had no life in me at all. Coming here has changed everything. We’re having a great time together along with all Josh’s family and friends and I just don’t want the holiday to end.

“Look at me, I’m a different person. For the first time in my life I’ve got a suntan, although to be honest most of it is fake. I can’t stop slapping it on. I’ve been eating non-stop because the food’s so great here and now I’ve got some meat on my bones.

“I’ve even been in the ocean. A few months ago I wouldn’t have dreamed of it because I wouldn’t have wanted to get my beehive wet. But now I’ve got my new short haircut and I feel like a new woman.

“Before I got here I was just like a zombie most days. But here I’ve got new zest for life as I’m off the drugs. All I’ve done is read books, sunbathe and drink cocktails. But it’s made me feel like concentrating on my career again.

Unfortunately for Amy, Josh might not be as in love as she is. Josh reportedly told a friend, “She’s sweet, but just not my kind of girl.” Wamp wamp waaaaaaamp.

Source

3 Responses to “Wino & Blake Incarcerated: Dunzo”
  1. kATE says:

    What a quaint life that Amy Winehouse has. There is really no one else like her out there.

  2. kjkgk says:

    Okay so she’s sober but she’s still gross, what’s her excuse now?

  3. Lola says:

    Oh my God she’s fucking disgusting… She’s ugly as shit. I mean come on, I know it’s mean to say someone is ugly but this is just down-right repulsive. Her body looks like that of a little boy. She looks like a fucking dude. Whoever this guy is she’s boning and claiming to love, must be on alot of drugs to be able to even touch her… UGH