I think Shanna Moakler needs to step away from the internet for a bit. Like, even more than I need to step away from the internet. Every time I see homegirl in the news, it’s because of some beef she started on Myspace. Good God, who even still uses Myspace?

Anyhoo, Shanna’s latest drama involves Kim Kardashian and her propensity for black men. Kim claimed she only dates black dudes, but Shanna said that Kim most definitely does white dudes as well, because she caught her trying to boff her ex-husband, Travis Barker.

Why would Shanna care if Kim had something going on with her now-ex-husband? Probably because Shanna doesn’t have a j-o-b or a nail appointment to keep her busy and out of Kim’s business. Anyhoo, things got heated at a Malibu bbq (like most ghetto beefs) over the weekend when Shanna poured a drink over Kim’s head and angered her boyfriend, Reggie Bush.

I was at this bbq and I saw what I thought was a donkey posing on the stairs but much to my surprise, it was Kim Kardashian. No, wait, it was a donkey! She’s soooo fucking fat! She’s 5′2 and she’s like 140. She was wearing a sarong to cover her huge big ass! I like a nice ass but hers is not a nice ass!

Anyway, I threw my drink on her (Kim Kardashian). I decided I was tired of being the moral police! I went to grab my things and go when my girlfriend asked me where I was going. I just told her I absolutely didn’t want to be there if that whore was there. Then, Reggie comes up and says (Shanna switches to a Mr. T voice) “YO! Be careful what you say!” And I was like “Your girls a whore!” and he said it again: “Be careful what you say.” and I just told him again:  “Your girl’s a whore!”

Because that interview made absolutely no sense at all, Shanna issued a statement to TMZ further explaining her babble.

“Quite some time ago I received emails from her mobile device of VERY inappropriate conduct between herself and my husband at the time, that were NOT at all “friendly” and very much “romantically” inclined. I spoke to Kim Kardashian, asking her to please stay away from my family as we are trying to heal after a very trying time, she agreed and but failed to do so.

Kim’s friends told TMZ that she laughed off the incident because she isn’t into white dudes, so there’s no way she would hit that tattooed, mohawked shit. Shanna felt the need to immediately respond.

“Come on Kim, let the truth be told! You have dated numerous white guys. Your quote saying that you are not into white guys is a sham — not a SHIM [a she and a him] like you! How about you just be honest Kim and say, “Shanna, I’m sorry for f’n with your man!” It’s that simple… then you can deal with the aftermath from Reggie, you know — your man that you cheated on!”

Although this is tiresome and confusing, I’m forced to side with Shanna: Kim publicly dated Nick Lachey (totes Caucasian) shortly after his marriage with Jessica Simpson ended.

This entry was posted on Friday, July 25th, 2008 at 8:00 am and is filed under Kim Kardashian, Shanna Moakler. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.