According the National Enquirer, Cher was forced to postpone her wedding to some dude named Tim Medvetz because her weirdo son has stomach issues. 32 year old musician Elijah Blue Allman started experiencing “strange symptoms” two years ago after a vacation in New Delhi, India.

“This should be the best time of Cher’s life. She is enjoying a love affair with daredevil adventurer Tim, and they plan to get married by the end of the year. But poor Elijah keeps playing on her mind.”

“At first he believed he got a bad case of food poisoning in India. As soon as he got back to Los Angeles, he began complaining of a constantly upset stomach and flu-like symptoms. Chronic fatigue, bowel problems, headaches and a host of intestinal troubles soon followed. “In the past two years, Elijah has had over 40 colonics, along with other holistic treatments. But that hasn’t helped either.” Elijah is now seeking treatment at specialist clinic Leonardis Klinik in Germany.

Elijah has dated a string of whorey broads, including Bijou Phillips, Kate Hudson, Nicole Richie, Paris Hilton, and Heather Graham. I’m not a doctor, but I would assume sticking your penis inside Bijou or Paris is a sure-fire recipe for health issues.

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