In the upcoming issue of People Magazine, Ellen DeGeneres discussed her weekend nuptials with Portia de Portia. Ellen bragged that hot-ass Portia was “officially off the market.”

“She’s officially off the market. No one else gets her. And now she’ll cook and clean for me.”

Ellen drove home the point again onher chat show’s website. Sorry, John Stamos: no Portia for you.

“I had a big weekend,” writes the Ellen DeGeneres Show host, 50. “I got married to Portia de Rossi! Sorry, John Stamos … this one’s taken.”

Pointing out the cursive-script-style of her message as it appears on her site (accompanied by a photo of the couple), Ellen writes, “You may notice something different about the way I’m writing … it’s fancy. This is the font I type in now that I’m MARRIED!”

Continuing in this vein, she also says, “I do a lot of things differently now … I say, ‘I do’ a lot. For example: Who wants to do pilates? I do. Would you like a Mountain Dew? I do. Do you know why I pulled you over? I do. And that was just this morning.”

DeGeneres signs off with, “Blissfully yours, The just married Mrs. DeGeneres,” with the “Mrs.” underscored.

Ellen promised to share photos and video of the wedding on the September 8 season premiere of the Ellen DeGeneres Show.

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