Paris Hilton’s next Oscar-worthy effort, The Hottie and the Nottie, finally has a release date. You can expect the slap-stick comedy in theaters on Valentine’s Day. The movie is currently scheduled to open in at least ten major American markets. Oh God, please let Boston be included in that bunch.

The heiress and former inmate plays Cristabel Abbott, who’s been eyed since the first grade by an obsessed Nate Cooper (Joel David Moore). To win her affections, Nate is forced to find a boyfriend for her less-than-beautiful friend June Phigg (Christine Lakin).

I’m ready for Paris to pull a Charlize Theron and do a Monster-type role. Maybe they could do a movie about that lady from the “Faces of Meth” ad campaign, and Paris could play the lead.

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